I’m writing this while leaning against my daughters’ bedroom door. They’re supposed to be asleep. Instead, I hear them giggling, chatting back and forth. Somehow, they’ve been sisters for six months now. How has it already, and only, been six months? Anya has slipped right into our lives, and I can barely remember our family without her.
Both of my daughters joined my family by adoption. Suma, my oldest, came home in record time, her adoption taking only ten months. I struggled to keep up with the paperwork and the process — everything moved lightning fast. Our second adoption was much slower, taking over two years. It was arduous in distinctly different ways. Trusting God’s plan during her adoption, through the starts and long pauses of those two years, was so hard.
I hadn’t intended to adopt so soon after Suma came home. I wanted more time to just be mother and daughter, a family. But shortly after our one-year family day, I felt a pressure deep in my soul that it was already time to start a second adoption. I hesitated… was this wise? Were we ready? Should I wait longer before pursuing a second child? I sought counsel from trusted friends and family, and in December 2019, we began a second adoption.
If you remember back when, you probably see where this is going. I stepped back into the whirlwind of home study paperwork, getting all our documents notarized and apostilled and sent off to India.
And then, the world just… stopped. Absolutely everything simply stalled out. There was so much uncertainty, so many unknowns, and all around me, so much fear and anxiety. My heart already felt that my child — her identity still completely unknown to me — was on the other side of the world, without her mama.
“Why are You doing this? Or rather, not doing anything?” I read my prayers in my journal from one of those long pauses. I couldn’t understand what God was doing. To be honest, I still don’t understand very much. There were so many long delays, some tied to the pandemic and others completely unrelated. It’s easy to want to read into those delays, in hindsight, some purpose. I do know that if things had gone as I would have orchestrated them… we would have missed Anya. Her paperwork, her registration on the list of waiting children, took longer than normal. But so did our adoption process. Maybe, just maybe, God slowed us down so we could be ready and waiting when she needed us. Maybe, just maybe, He had a plan for our inexplicable delays after all.
I am still sitting outside their door. They’ve gotten quiet. Soon, I will go in and check on them, tugging up blankets and tucking them under chins. It’s one of my favorite moments of every day. Taking a step back, just looking at my girls. I remember the months and years waiting for Anya, and it seems another lifetime. Surely she has always slept here, snug in this bed, in this room she shares with her sister. I am simply so grateful they are mine and I am theirs. Thank you, Jesus, for my girls. Thank you for crossing our paths, for pushing and pulling on my heart and on adoption process timelines. Just, thank you.
Thank you also, Christian Orphan Fund, for your support!
